You’re a Social Media Slut

Dignity and self-promotion might be mutually exclusive.

One of my least favorite phrases has always been “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” I’ve always heard it and thought, “People are smarter than that.” Most are, at least.

But I’m starting to believe the social media sluts of the world can get by on fumes and tweets with no backup of their professional skills or experience. Retweeting your own content shares might be annoying, but it seems to pay off sometimes. The social media slut doesn’t care about the consequences of annoying their Twitter followers, they only care about how popular they seem online.

If you’re worried you’re one of them, here are the symptoms:

You survive on compliments. Situation: Someone tells you you’re having a great hair day at the office. Do you, instead of saying, “Thank you,” turn around and shout, “HEY! Hey guys! This guy thinks I’m having a great hair day! I’m awesome…” Of course not. But you do on social media. Every time someone says, “Loved reading your latest post,” on Twitter and you retweet it, a Twitter bird loses its wings.

You base your self-worth on your “value.” You’re putting too much weight in your Klout score, just like a prostitute might base her self-worth on what she charges per night.

You have a weekly standing circle jerk with your #FF people. You’ve got some kind of circle jerk goin’ on between you & your people online. You all #FF each other every week. You only give reciprocal #FF’s based on who first includes you. Go out on a limb and include someone else for once. Open your clique to the tweeple.

You give it up for just anyone. You write about Human Resources, marketing, weddings or public relations and you’re selling links on your blog for dishwasher-safe tupperware. You might find a way to weave that bologna into a post about how HR is like dinnerware or something, but everyone knows what’s going on. If they don’t, that makes you far worse a blogger.

You don’t stick to your principles. You hop on irrelevant topics that are trending like #StepstoSurviveaHorrorMovie or #OtherThingsThatDon’tRelatetoYou just to get your account seen by the masses. I believe that humans are complex enough to contain many a contradiction, but c’mon…what does #UglyGirlsAreNotAllowed have to do with you and your message?

You don’t wear protection. Your passwords aren’t secure. You don’t manage the applications that have access to your accounts. We’ve already talked about this one. I’m having that thing…the one where you remember doing something vividly…

Good reads: “The Making of a Social Media Slut” by Mark Schaefer on Business Grow

Image: Portia de Rossi as Lindsay Funke on Arrested Development from the-op.com

3 Responses to “You’re a Social Media Slut”

  1. Jackie says:

    Hahaha! Oh, I love this. You summed it up perfectly. There are plenty of people I’ve unfollowed because of these exact things… if you tweet your Klout score, you’re probably off my list because I. Do. Not. Care. I don’t want that junk in my feed.

  2. Lizzie says:

    Thanks, Jackie. I care about people’s Klout scores at work quite a bit. But don’t people have the Klout plugin if they care about that? I do. I know your Klout score and so-and-so’s Klout score and Company-X’s Klout score…to tweet it is just redundant to me and annoying to people who don’t care.

  3. I see myself in this! Man, I am so easy!

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