The One Where I Finally Tell You What’s Been Going On
My husband Isaiah and I are expecting.
I thought about a million snarky things I could tell you about pregnancy — about how no one really tells you retroactively that the first trimester makes you wish you didn’t exist, about how I now know what all of my favorite foods taste like on the way back up, and about how you can have all the rational conversations you want about having a baby, but you never really think about having a child, and the gravity of that. Your lizard brain wants you to think of only the positive things — their little feet (I want some of those feet in my life!), their little hands (I want some of those hands in my life!) — mostly miniature things you think will be fun to have around for a while.
But now I know why most women don’t complain about the first trimester so much. Aside from not being able to tell anyone until you’re in the clear of 2nd trimester, the days really do start to look up almost right away. And who wants to dwell in the past? Especially when the past includes mostly weird bodily functions and changes your refound dignity won’t allow you to discuss anymore.
The point is we’re excited as can be. We’re building suits of armor to fend off waves of judginess that we’ve been told to expect. We are buying tiny things that help us realize how real this is. We are reading all the books! We are not nearly ready, but we’re preparing for this baby like we would prepare for a zombie apocalypse — with fervor.